Number one example of a bipolar's "mixed state"
#NOTE!:
Most complaining in this post is based around my own selfishness and being jealous of FRIENDS and a VIDEO GAME.
I mean, seriously. Who gets jealous over a VIDEO GAME? not to mention FRIENDS?!
I'm not going to do a writing prompt today because I'd rather talk about my day for once.
I woke up around 1am to 2am..ish. Talked to Matt because today was going to be my day with him, we were gonna play Yahoo! Graffiti but we never did (we ended up playing other things and played Graffiti the day before). I tell him I want to play Gears, even though I had been waiting for Dale to get on I figure I waited enough and that we should go play.
I go to make a match and then Matt says someone else is joinable. He said I might not want to join it because it's Shep's game but I said "I don't fucking care", realizing that Dale was supposed to be over there I figured they were split screening or something. Little do I know, Dale's on another username. Without any sort of notice to me.
So obviously I'm getting really upset, not pissed, upset. On Escalation I said I wanted a sniper, and then the next round LinX took one..
I literally started crying..
..over a sniper getting ganked.
Yes, it might seem like that on the surface but there was so much happening at the moment that just pressed down on me. The compounding of:
Most complaining in this post is based around my own selfishness and being jealous of FRIENDS and a VIDEO GAME.
I mean, seriously. Who gets jealous over a VIDEO GAME? not to mention FRIENDS?!
I'm not going to do a writing prompt today because I'd rather talk about my day for once.
I woke up around 1am to 2am..ish. Talked to Matt because today was going to be my day with him, we were gonna play Yahoo! Graffiti but we never did (we ended up playing other things and played Graffiti the day before). I tell him I want to play Gears, even though I had been waiting for Dale to get on I figure I waited enough and that we should go play.
I go to make a match and then Matt says someone else is joinable. He said I might not want to join it because it's Shep's game but I said "I don't fucking care", realizing that Dale was supposed to be over there I figured they were split screening or something. Little do I know, Dale's on another username. Without any sort of notice to me.
So obviously I'm getting really upset, not pissed, upset. On Escalation I said I wanted a sniper, and then the next round LinX took one..
I literally started crying..
..over a sniper getting ganked.
Yes, it might seem like that on the surface but there was so much happening at the moment that just pressed down on me. The compounding of:
- Waiting for Dale only to see that he was in a game already and didn't even bother to tell me the username he'd be using much less send me an invite
- Dale paying absolutely no mind to me (see NOTE at the top)
- Not being able to win and I'm a poor loser (it's literally impossible with their laggy ass connection, not to mention that many hosts on one team)
- Having a really bad day
- Getting actived down all the time
- LinX taking the sniper
All that just made me cry and actually feel like dying, like most every day anyway. So then I was fed up, so I left (the final move on me was me getting actived). Then they have the nerve to say I think she's mad and send me a message why'd you leave?.
I then went to go spend the rest of the night with Matt. Damn, was the rest of the night fun! He really made me forget about being upset, haha. First we played Command & Conquer 3, which I beat him at as I usually do, but he didn't complain or anything. We just talked most of the time and such. After playing C&C, we played Gears. This was the most fun part of the night.
We decided to go 1 on 1 after seeing that no one really wanted to join. I kept shooting his head off (we were sniping against each other) and then he said something like maybe I'm LETTING you win which caused me to start to let him win. XD
When I was trying to snipe Matt's head on the next match, we were talking about food and I said something like "I'll eat any meat as long as it has turkey on it!" I meant to say barbecue sauce. A second passed.. and then Matt said "What?" and then I started laughing SO HARD because I sniped his head but at the cost of looking really, really stupid. On this match though, we just messed around a lot until someone actually joined. His name was freakin' slicedogg. We had a conversation like this..
Matt: Who freakin' names their Xbox Live profile "slice dogg"?
Me: Apparently a lot of people, because he had to put numbers after it.
Laughter ensued. Then, on Gridlock, all sorts of people joined. The most notable being HOWHI (pronounced Howie), whom we kept joking was our best friend (we laughed at his name for SO long), Brian2893832 (then I made a joke about them being in a boy band together), and Man on Crack420 who proved that he was really on crack by being a shitty sniper and inevitably losing the round for us all the time. Next match, on Canals, we made a SUPER TEAM!:
HOWHI
Man on Crack420
winter twilight (me)
MobCityMANNG (Matt)
We were in private chat the entire time and I don't even think they had mics, but it was fun as hell. It was rather close too. We were up against two super evil guys with guests (one being MightyMouse-- by this time, we were joking how all the freaks come out at night). Whenever the guest would active me down, I'd just boot him haha. That round ended up being 7 to 7, until Man on Crack420 proved to be a valuable asset by winning it for us!
We were laughing 98% of the time and I laughed so hard I cried, and laughed so hard I snorted a few times. But after Canals I could tell Matt was getting drowsy and sure enough he said he wanted to go to bed, so I said goodbye and joined back to Shep's game.
Big mistake.
I got in a message-argument with Dale again, which started off with me APOLOGIZING, then taking the blame for any argument caused. I'd rather take the blame all the time than have an argument. I didn't talk a lot, I recall only talking 2 or 3 times, and that was to RuRaK or LinX (both of whom were definitely high). RuRaK said some pretty nice things about me so I was happy, but of course the connection was laggy and also I wanted to go Locust and they pushed Start before I could.. so I just left.
Mostly, a very mixed emotion night, but I think the good times outweighed the bad times. Just thinking back at it makes me laugh. I definitely gotta do this way more often.
I then went to go spend the rest of the night with Matt. Damn, was the rest of the night fun! He really made me forget about being upset, haha. First we played Command & Conquer 3, which I beat him at as I usually do, but he didn't complain or anything. We just talked most of the time and such. After playing C&C, we played Gears. This was the most fun part of the night.
We decided to go 1 on 1 after seeing that no one really wanted to join. I kept shooting his head off (we were sniping against each other) and then he said something like maybe I'm LETTING you win which caused me to start to let him win. XD
When I was trying to snipe Matt's head on the next match, we were talking about food and I said something like "I'll eat any meat as long as it has turkey on it!" I meant to say barbecue sauce. A second passed.. and then Matt said "What?" and then I started laughing SO HARD because I sniped his head but at the cost of looking really, really stupid. On this match though, we just messed around a lot until someone actually joined. His name was freakin' slicedogg. We had a conversation like this..
Matt: Who freakin' names their Xbox Live profile "slice dogg"?
Me: Apparently a lot of people, because he had to put numbers after it.
Laughter ensued. Then, on Gridlock, all sorts of people joined. The most notable being HOWHI (pronounced Howie), whom we kept joking was our best friend (we laughed at his name for SO long), Brian2893832 (then I made a joke about them being in a boy band together), and Man on Crack420 who proved that he was really on crack by being a shitty sniper and inevitably losing the round for us all the time. Next match, on Canals, we made a SUPER TEAM!:
HOWHI
Man on Crack420
winter twilight (me)
MobCityMANNG (Matt)
We were in private chat the entire time and I don't even think they had mics, but it was fun as hell. It was rather close too. We were up against two super evil guys with guests (one being MightyMouse-- by this time, we were joking how all the freaks come out at night). Whenever the guest would active me down, I'd just boot him haha. That round ended up being 7 to 7, until Man on Crack420 proved to be a valuable asset by winning it for us!
We were laughing 98% of the time and I laughed so hard I cried, and laughed so hard I snorted a few times. But after Canals I could tell Matt was getting drowsy and sure enough he said he wanted to go to bed, so I said goodbye and joined back to Shep's game.
Big mistake.
I got in a message-argument with Dale again, which started off with me APOLOGIZING, then taking the blame for any argument caused. I'd rather take the blame all the time than have an argument. I didn't talk a lot, I recall only talking 2 or 3 times, and that was to RuRaK or LinX (both of whom were definitely high). RuRaK said some pretty nice things about me so I was happy, but of course the connection was laggy and also I wanted to go Locust and they pushed Start before I could.. so I just left.
Mostly, a very mixed emotion night, but I think the good times outweighed the bad times. Just thinking back at it makes me laugh. I definitely gotta do this way more often.