dominos

I quit dominos halfway through the shift. Absolutely fuck that shit. My life is too short and valuable to spend it like that.

• first day at dominos
• come into the store at 5pm
• “hey I scheduled you until 12, is that ok?” it is but uhh yeah…
• brought to the tiny office, told that I need to fill out new hire paperwork ON MY OWN TIME. the audacity. I’ve never had a job do this, even McDonalds.
• manager doesn’t go over literally anything. doesn’t even show me how to clock in and out. doesn’t go over all the other new hire stuff I would expect either. literally just takes my license, gives me a shirt and hat, and shoves me with some other guy
• “we called in someone for today to train you”
• i was expecting actual training modules on a computer but ok
• guy is absolutely awful at training. goes to show that being good at the job doesn’t mean you’re good at teaching it
• takes 5 minutes to show me around the store, goes on a single run with me, then leaves (it was his day off!!)
• guy tells me literally everyone working today only has been there a few months
• I’m left on my own to figure literally everything else out
• not even sure who the manager is
• whoever the manager is is also dropping the ball, doesn’t tell me to go on breaks or lunch at appropriate times
• as per usual, female coworkers are super chill, the few dudes in there have the worlds largest attitude
• other coworker mentioned “we get 30 cents per mile”, I was told 77 in interview
• 30 cents per mile won’t even cover my gas and car maintenance
• only get paid $5 (!!!) an hour when on a delivery, then $9 in store (which should be illegal in 2025 ngl. both the tipping loophole and $9/hr)
• they assume you’ll make it up in tips
• no one fucking tips. like maybe $2-3 per delivery if I’m lucky, and these are on $40+ orders
• sign on the wall says “NO FREE FOOD FOR WORKERS, NO EXCEPTIONS” which kinda is in line with how cheap they have been, also against franchise rules because anyone working a full shift is supposed to get a lunch
• despite this, see food on the table in the back that’s being eaten by group (of course, I am not informed about it)
• expected to wash dishes when no deliveries, but I have eczema on my hands and it’s tearing up my hands
• night shift, so people arent paying as much attention, almost get into a few wrecks already
• personally am drained from my medical treatment earlier in the day so I am also low on energy and recognize that it’s unsafe for me to be driving
• everyone else is shocked that I am full time, everyone there is part time and says they wouldn’t want to work FT
• they wanted me to CLOSE THE STORE MYSELF on my first day. as in, I would be the only driver and then one other person up front closing.
• my manager (whoever that is) doesn’t even tell me this
• this place is clearly a shit show
• on top of that all the customers are rude as fuck, probably because rural Texas
• realize literally any other way to spend my life would be preferable to working another 10 minutes there, and that being homeless would be preferable too.
• take their stupid sign off the top of my car, leave it outside, put the cash in the cash box, text the person who hired me a nice “I quit” message informing her of the equipment and cash, telling her to send my check to the address on file
• I would be totally fine with them not even paying me, I’ll take whatever few tips I got and call it a wash.

also worth mentioning that they didn’t have me on the schedule for any other night besides tonight which leads me to believe they have a lot of people quit after their first day.

I’m not saying I’m above any job, but at this point in my career, this is not a job for me. Maybe if I was a teenager/as a first job? but not for someone who has been working white collar jobs for 15 years. I’ll wait a few weeks for my medical stuff to be done and find a white collar 9-5 again.

new job, hopefully for more than 5 min

so I start a new job tomorrow. it’s just a really simple one, delivery driver for dominos. I’m going to continue doing TMS through the next few weeks as well. so, it’s going to be a LOT at first. I’m hoping that I can make it through the first few weeks without getting too burnt out. especially since it’s SO MUCH driving.

I’m annoyed because I’ve almost hit the 95k driving milestone on my car which means the big expensive maintenance is coming up :/ probably at least $1,000 and that’s a very generous estimate. and on top of that with having to buy new non slip shoes, pants, etc. feels like I’m going to be in debt just trying to pay off the start up costs for the job…

I think the fact that I get to sit in between walking to doors and also in between working in the store will help me ramp back up and hopefully my fatigue won’t take over too much. however, I haven’t held a job in a few months at this point, so I already know I’m going to have to get used to sitting at work for 8 hours with no distractions. (especially since, maybe worse! I haven’t worked outside of the home since COVID in early 2020. whenever I’m not working from home the hours seem to go by so slowly…)

I promised e I would be really careful about watching my mental health and quitting if I felt too burnt out. so I will give myself permission to do so, though I don’t intend to. I’d at least like to give it a few months.

I sincerely hope they realize that me having the Crywolf day off and also my anniversary off are non negotiables. I’ll be magically sick that day if they don’t approve my PTO, I don’t really care.

anyway. it will be nice to get out of the house a little. and jobs like these are so make or break based on the team/coworkers there! so I won’t know until I’m properly on the job. all things considered/all in, I think I’ll make about $15/hr average which is… fine, acceptable, whatever. for now a job is a job and it works with my treatments (even though nights and weekends is A Lot)

I’ll try to remember to update more frequently (famous last words)

man. TMS has been rough. I know the first 2-3 weeks usually have the worst side effects and it’s normal to experience what I’m experiencing but since it’s so slow acting, the side effects are also slow to go away.

like several weeks in.. I’m having trouble thinking straight, having memory issues, insane fatigue etc which are all apparently side effects that I wasn’t really warned about before starting. which is fine but actually the depression is worse because of all the side effects, also just becoming worse I think before it gets better because of depression, trauma being shuffled up and etc.

I actually ditched an interview today just because it was giving me a weird trauma trigger reaction and I don’t know if I would have had that otherwise. then I feel guilty and like a piece of shit because I know I should be looking for work right now ugh.

at least it’s not a placebo effect I guess? I mean it’s definitely doing something to me for better or worse. I was a little afraid it would end up being a placebo. they had me take this long ass questionnaire today about the side effects and I’m just… yeah I don’t know.

also there are hobbies that require other people that I would like to be doing but I’d have to go find people to do it with me bc E and all my family and friends aren’t into those hobbies. and I just don’t have the energy to go meet new people right now.

on top of that all I might be starting Spravato soon (ideally) and I can’t even get the energy to contact the coordinator. e was supposed to be figuring it out for me but I don’t know if he’s had time to send over my release of information.

and of course the Starbucks next door to TMS that was my little treat afterwards, shut down this week! urgh… I’m just going to lie down forever now

Hi all. I find myself mostly just tired lately. It’s hard to explain how fatigue inducing TMS has been for me. Really, it’s been the biggest negative side effect, which is hard to push through when there have been virtually no positive effects just yet. It’s three hours round trip every single day for six weeks (200 miles round trip), and I’ll tell you what… I would not be doing this unless I had absolutely no other alternative. Because right now, it is so exhausting. But what is the alternative? Not getting better?

It gets even more complicated when you realize that it’s making work awful too, or the lack thereof. There are no “normal” 9-5 jobs that are going to work around me needing to take half the business day off to go run to Dallas every single day. So, I have been looking into part-time/weekend/nights jobs. I got an interview at a grocery store for overnight stocking, but they took one look at me and how short and chubby I am and instantly decided I wasn’t right for the job. Which is awful. Like, they tried to say it was because I had “no overnight experience and no stocking experience.” You saw that on my resume. You just wanted to discriminate against my physical appearance. So pathetic.

I have another interview tomorrow, though I doubt it will go anywhere. It’s just for a job that is two Saturdays and four Sundays a month, just filling in for another person for a driving position. At this point, I’ll take just about anything. I even set up an appointment to sell plasma to help get us through and help pay for the copay and gas to get 200 miles every single day. I thought about doing Doordash today, but turns out, when I’m driving like that, I just want to get home and sit down in a chair and stop driving. I might do that a little bit later… not that Doordash is particularly worth it, honestly.

I’ve also been supplementing with Prolific. E says that I shouldn’t be so much worried about jobs and money right now and should just focus on getting better mentally. But how can I focus on getting better mentally when I know we are still negative every month? I don’t want us to have to start dipping into our super emergency. Right now, we have only been dipping into our “backup funds”, aka Elias' money, but we do have an actual emergency fund that I’d rather leave untouched if we can.

I’m probably going to try and transfer over all the posts from the other blog to this one today. But man, it’s going to be hard to look at them. I had such an “easy” life when I was a teenager, and seeing me whine about things like Gears of War versus what’s happening today is a little bit difficult… ahaha.

hey all. I have definitely not forgotten about this blog. My life has just been considerably full of stress the past few weeks. I have some major health stuff going on. Mostly major depression which doesn’t seem like a big deal, but it’s essentially an emergency level. I am going to go through TMS and Spravato soon, which is going to put further stress on our financial situation, which already isn’t ideal. Sigh… I don’t even have the spoons to get into what all is going down with the family situation, either. I will do a proper update soon, hopefully.