looking back at my previous entries, the rare few times that i *DO* update (one a month at the most), all i do is bitch on this thing lololol
well, bitching and surveys. I HAVE A SURVEY I'M GOING TO DO LATER SO LOOK FORWARD TO IT!
but seriously. i need to update with like... life stuff. i haven't updated in forever, even though nothing new is really going on with my life...
i'm half in a band and my brother moved out, i guess that's something. the empty bedroom is so weird, and we're cleaning up all the stuff. the house is practically getting emptied, which i prefer. i haaaaate clutter, which is why i hate staying in a room that's like, 6 feet by 15 feet. CLAUSTROPHOBIAAAA
oh well, not much i can do about it. i might steal the bigger bedroom in a few months since steve isn't staying there anyway and my dad sleeps on the couch due to lack of extra bed.
i was playing an online pictionary game with a person who i thought was my friend. i've known him for a few years.
it basically went down like this:
him: *draws horribly malformed picture* (looks like this) me: *going by the clue of _h_ ___t ___pp_r, i guess "the last popper?" keep in mind his NEW FRIEND DESU guessed "the last runner" and didn't get shit for it* him: omg. you are so stupid. me: ...stop making fun of me -game continues on, a bit later- him: your guesses are so dumb, it's hard not to make fun of you! me: i'm still winning, lol (i had 10 wins, he had 3) him: omg, big deal, amber. 10 gold medals in an online game. get a life, you fat fuck. (almost a direct quote)
ONE OF THESE THINGS IS NOT LIKE THE OTHER.
(god forbid i can't make out his horribly, horribly shitty excuses for 'drawings', amirite?)
understandably, i left. i just said "i'm leaving" and closed out. he IMs me saying "why'd you leave?" and i just said "because you're an ass. going to bed. night."
SERIOUSLY? is he that stupid? (it doesn't surprise me)
i tried to keep my response game-related. even though he was calling me stupid, all i pointed out was that my 'stupid guesses' were winning the game. then he got all butthurt and decided to make a personal jab at me. AND HE STILL CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHAT HE DID WRONG. i even asked him to stop earlier in the game because i know how petty/bitchy/catty he can get (worst than any girls i've ever met)
i didn't start calling him stupid. i didn't call him slightly less fat than me but still massive (his bmi is TWO points lower). i didn't say he was a tease for so deliberately flirting with someone when he already had a boyfriend. i didn't say he's a spoiled little rich kid who gets whatever he wants when he cries to mommy about it. all of these are true, but i knew the realm of appropriate response was game trash talking him back.
making an already stressed out supposed "friend" cry through making fun of them ftw, i suppose. i was so upset/shocked because i didn't think it was going to go that way, and i thought he was my friend. i usually don't expect that kind of behavior/talk from someone i consider to be my 'friend', so the tears were just as much out of shock as they were out of upsetness.
i have asked him and everyone else not to call me by my real name and he deliberately started calling me by it when he was pissed. most likely? i cried because of someone calling me by my name rather than the fat thing. i'm secure in my fatness but at the moment i am NOT secure in my gender and calling me by my name really, really bothers me. yes, to the point where i will burst into tears when referred to as 'amber', and the female pronoun is getting that way too. way to be, asshole.
he's going to have to apologize big time if he wants to keep my friendship, and even then? he's going to be on thin ice for a LONG TIME. he's officially jumped from 'friend i can trust with secrets who will never deliberately hurt me' to 'guy i kinda know that i talk to sometimes that i wouldn't trust as far as i can throw'.
good luck climbing back up there, man. it took you years before, and it's going to take you even longer now.
Name: [REDACTED] Straight/gay/bi? It’s complicated. I guess effectively gay, but technically pansexual. Single? Nope, and I wouldn’t give her up for the world ♥ Birth date: 18 June 1990 Height? 5'2'' Eye colour: Green Happy with it? Actually, I’d rather them be blue. I’ve always wanted blonde hair and blue eyes, but I can’t stand contacts so I can’t help that. Pets? A gecko named Mitsuo Piercings? My ears, if they’re even still pierced. They’re probably closed up~ I want to get my lip pierced as well, just haven’t gotten around to it. Tattoos? Nope. Still considering whether I want one or not… Probably will be considering it for quite a few years. I’m not in a hurry to go ink my skin permanently. Obsessions? Metallica, Hello!Project, facebook games/ragnarok/games in general, computer
What is the compliment you get most from people? That I have nice eyes, oddly enough. I remember someone once told me that I have “perfect” lips, as in they’re not too Angelina Jolie thick and they aren’t paper thin. Can you sing? I’d like to think so. Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself? There are a lot of things I know that I could improve upon, personality-wise. As for physically, I like myself pretty much fine. What do you like the most about your body? My face. And the least? Hm.. my weight, maybe? Even though I’ve come to terms with that a long time ago.
DO YOU? - Smoke? Nope - Do drugs? Nope - Read the newspaper? No, just digg.com haha - Pray? Nope - Go to church? Nope - Talk to people even though you hate them? I don’t “hate” people, so this is a fundamentally flawed question. But if I need to talk to someone I dislike, I won’t let my feelings come in the way. But if I don’t have to, then no - Drive? I can, but I don’t - Like to drive fast? Naw, I’m pretty much like an old lady - Like your voice? Not really. I think I sound incredibly nerdy. It’s not as bad when I’m just talking, but when I hear a recording of myself it’s really noticable. Even my singing voice sounds weird to me. - Hurt yourself? Nope
HAVE YOU EVER?
- Been out of the country? Once… I went to Canada when I was 7. That’s it. We don’t really have the funds to do stuff like that, and even if we did, my dad has a “why leave America?” attitude so I’d probably have to go with my grandma - Had sex? Yes - Been in love? Yes - Had a surgery? Yup.. when I was three, I was rocking on a rocking chair in the garage. I rocked too far and fell back and split my head open. - Ran away from home? Hmm… depends on the definition. One time, my dad got REALLY drunk and started punching stuff, so I ran away to Amanda’s that night, but that was the only time. (Last time he got drunk too) - Been so drunk that you know you’re supposed to go out on a date with someone, but you can’t remember with who or when and that you faint when you look at yourself in the mirror in the morning, not to mention your breath? Uh… Just read the previous question’s answer and take a guess as to whether I can stand alcohol or not. - Thought about suicide? Yes - Talked on the phone all night? Yes. Actually I talk with Amanda on skype all night almost every day - Slept together with the opposite sex without actually having sex? Yes, when I was little we used to go camping with Danny and Caleb. - Killed someone? … - Had sex with a stranger? No… - Thought you’re going crazy? Sometimes I still do, haha - Kissed the same sex? Nope - Done anything sexual with the same sex? Not yet - Stolen anything? Hm… a few times stand out to me. Once, when I was really little, I took a strategy guide for Diddy Kong Racing from the store (so it was probably 1997, so I was 7). I didn’t know that they cost money. Also, when I was 14 or something, I stole a can of cheese from the dollar store just to see if I could get away with it. - Been on radio/TV? Nope If I were a month I would be: Probably December. Start off as warm, but turn very cold near the end. Hahah. If I were a day of the week I would be: Tuesday. I’m very boring and not really renowned for anything. If I were a time of day I would be: 4am. If I were a planet I would be: Pluto…oh wait If I were a direction I would be: West If I were a liquid I would be: Flavored water… If I were a flower/plant I would be: Rose, insert cliche with thorns, etc. If I were an animal I would be: A dog… dumb and loyal. If I were a color I would be: Gray If I were a fruit I would be: Strawberry If I were an element I would be: Wind If I were a food I would be: Beef jerky lols If I were a place I would be: Alaska? If I were a body part I would be: DICKS
1. If you could change something about me, what would it be? Um, I would change it so you lived next to me. Is that even a valid answer? I don't think there's really anything else that I would want to change. I'm not the type of person that wants to make others change, anyway, if you changed any it would be weird because you wouldn't really be the same flag? If that makes sense at all. /cop-out
2. What are your greatest hopes for the future? I don't really think about the future that much honestly. I just deal with things day-by-day, which is probably why I'm an unemployed loser at the moment. But ultimately, I'd like to become a chef of some kind, preferably a pastry chef. That's always been my dream and will probably always be my dream. I want to make sweet stuff. Pretty weird dream for someone so MANRY but I want to make really pretty cakes and stuff like that. I also have really, really unattainable and unrealistic dreams, like joining Morning Musume or being a roadie for Metallica. Or even singing for a living. Things like that just aren't possible, obviously. I'll just follow you wherever you want to go. I have no preference as to location or that, so long as I'm by you.
3. If you had a son, what would you name him? What about a daughter? Um, I've used all my favorite names in rp. Would it be weird if I said those? If so, then I'd choose Bruce/Jason/Xander/Lucian/Noah for a male, and Celeste/Sapphire/Rosabella/Adrianne/Natasha for a girl. Yeah, I know, a lot of options, and I've thought about it a lot. I really like the ending sound "n" for a male for some reason, and I like more feminine names for girls. My all time favorite names are probably Julian and Arianna, and that wasn't affected by the rp either-- the other way around actually. I've had a list of baby names for three or four years, and those are just the outstanding ones... the ones that stood the test of time and I still really love after a few years.
4. What's your ideal band? What combination of sounds makes it ideal? Metallica (and I love you for giving me an excuse to write about this)
The reason I love Metallica so much is because of the musical quality they put on the table. I can't really like a band unless they're nearly perfect, so they have to be very sharp musically as well as good with lyrics and such. I can't respect a band at all if they just scream in their lyrics, but Metallica actually has a fairly good singer which makes listening to it the best. All in all, I'm a choir geek so I appreciate singing more than anything, which is why I like other bands like Iron Maiden and Judas Priest as well.
But um, just using the song Master of Puppets as an example. It has tight drums with fills exactly where they need to be, a bass line that isn't just phoning-it-in same-note-500-times-in-a-row thanks to Cliff Burton's musical genius. The fact that there are two guitarists allows for guitar harmony in the middle which is probably one of my favorite elements that Metallica tends to incorporate into their music. The guitars are very metal and have good riffs even though they're not playing a million miles an hour. The lyrics are incredibly catchy and introspective-- it's referring to drugs, and this was probably a time when they were addicted to drugs so I'm sure they know what they're talking about. My favorite part of this particular song is the break-down in the middle because it really gives the song a chance to build back up. Even though it sounds like a whole new song, it still goes with the general theme of the entire composition. I like this song especially because James actually has the first guitar solo, even though it's slow it still shows the expertise that is required to write most of the riffs like he does. And after that, there's the "master! master!" part which is awesome live. Then Kirk comes in with the second solo which is understandably fast and always full of whammy haha. My only complaint is that the song seems a tad bit long which is why it's only my #2 favorite song, just behind Creeping Death.
But going back to the live part, Metallica was born a live band and will always be a live band. A lot of songs are "audience participation songs" where the audience yells and their 30 years of live performance experience really shows. They have great stage charisma which is also a big part of a band to me. They could be the most musically talented band in the world, but if they have poor stage charisma, they'll quickly get boring. You can only listen to the CDs so many times before getting curious and going to look at them live and seeing how horribly they fail, etc. It's part of the reason why I'm not as big of an Iron Maiden fan as I used to be. Their CDs are really good but in my opinion they really fall flat when it comes to being live.
Another big part of a band, to me, is how they see themselves. I can't get into Megadeth or Guns n' Roses because they are both filled with big egotistical personalities. Metallica has been nothing but humble and they constantly say they're just like the fans, only they're the ones on stage and if they weren't on stage they'd be out in the audience. This kind of attitude has allowed them to "keep it real" so to say for so many years and is probably one of the reasons they came out on top out of the 4 "fathers of thrash" bands.
The last thing is willingness to experiment. If Metallica made Kill 'em All (their first album) over and over and over again, they'd be like Slayer and I honestly wouldn't be interested in them today. What made them such a great band was the willingness to experiment, which meant putting ballads on their albums. Sometimes they fail (St. Anger sucked) but that willingness to step out of the comfort zone is something that is unparalleled in the metal world. They got a lot of shit for it, but they also sold a fuckton of albums with The Black Album.
But um.. to wrap it up? Good vocals, guitar harmony, drum fills right where they should be, lyrics that aren't run-of-the-mill, excellent bass lines, great charisma, good personality, and willingness to experiment are all things that I look for in a rock band. There are also other things I'm sure, like the tonality of the equipment, but it's not as important as the other stuff.
I could get started on why I like Morning Musume as well, but I've already written too much for this question so just remind me if you're interested and I'll write later. Basically, the perfect pop/Morning Musume song to me is nanchatte renai.
5. Coke or pepsi? this question is legit I don't drink pop that much anymore, but I will always choose Pepsi over Coke. Coke is not sweet enough for me. But these days I probably couldn't be able to tell the difference anyway. I also like Pepsi because they've publicly donated to gay rights funds so it feels morally right supporting them. But I like most pop, the only one I won't drink is Dr Pepper.
2009-10-04 10:49 PM: What happened to "I love you"? Did I do something wrong tonight?
2009-10-03 12:26 PM: the most obvious of obvious gay guys in high school that were in the closet added me and apparently he's going out with a guy, not surprised
2009-09-30 2:49 AM: seriously need to get out of this house and dad's "because I'm 40, I'm superior to you" thoughts.
2009-09-27 10:49 PM: what the heck flag
2009-09-26 11:00 PM: it's officially the day cliff died. 23 years. RIP ;~;
2009-09-26 10:20 PM: project runway owns
2009-09-25 10:27 PM: good to hear your voice again flag~
2009-09-25 3:21 AM: a lot of things happened today, so I'm gonna go sleep and try to wind down a little bit.
2009-09-24 1:34 AM: Yup. I officially don't give a fuck anymore.
2009-09-16 2:55 PM: the person that was supposed to be getting a hold of me "like, totally didn't have any time this week!" what bs.
2009-09-15 11:56 AM: yay yay diet breakthrough
2009-09-14 9:07 AM: dreams where you know you're in a dream are weird
2009-09-13 10:01 PM: everyone tonight... sigh
2009-09-13 5:02 PM: throat is feeling a bit better
2009-09-12 11:43 PM: also everyone started naming their little girls isabella lately. fucking twilight. enjoy having to be called by your last initial, ladies
2009-09-12 1:14 AM: i talked to an old friend again <3
2009-09-11 10:39 PM: september 11th means tons of specials about 9/11 on the history channel
2009-09-11 10:11 PM: there's a reason why i don't bother socializing.
2009-09-07 12:01 AM: poor flag////
2009-09-05 2:53 PM: going to go on xbox and re-download some stuff, i'll be back online in a half hour or so
2009-09-05 10:45 AM: slept well
2009-09-03 7:32 PM: diet start~
2009-09-02 3:43 PM: steve got a job orz
2009-09-02 2:25 AM: right bedtime now
2009-09-02 2:25 AM: need to go to bed soon, if i stay up all night steve gets on in the morning and clack-clacks on the keyboard .__.
2009-09-01: playing online bingo, which is strangely addictive
if my lack of updates is any sort of indication, i’m on a semi-hiatus.
there’s just not a whole lot going on in my life that’s noteworthy, and even if there was, i never think to update my lj with it. i just tell someone about it and move on for the most part.
i’ll most likely still be reading all of your entries, only on more delayed basis and i sure as hell won’t be commenting as much as i used to.
For some reason, it's so hot. I'm sweating horribly.
I watched a few animes today. I've always said anime is super homo so I've been trying to prove myself wrong. I began watching Seto no Hanayome and watched through all of Toki wo Kakeru Shoujo. The latter was pretty good but I was horribly disappointed in the ending... I hate it when that happens. That happened with Watchmen too-- the entire movie was awesome then it just shot itself in the foot at the end...
Also, I can't help but think everyone was mad at me today. Everyone I talked to seemed cold and I'm not sure why. I must have inadvertently done something wrong or more likely, it's all in my mind and nothing was wrong at all.
Oh well. I'm gonna go try to get some sleep because I feel sick.
RIP Les Paul :( He died at the age of 94... so old!
"So freedom is the point? Liberty. America's great and Belgium can eat our nuts. That's patriotism, right? /sarcasm" - Penn
I ♥ you, Penn & Teller. This was about an episode where someone was trying to say that the reason America was great is because it's ~free~ (as if every other country isn't free /s). I think what Penn was getting at is that other places are a lot more free than ours and I can't agree more. Everyone's so worried about political agenda and political correctness that it has come to the point where I don't think we're really necessarily 'free' anymore.
Also, they went around with a petition that said "America is #1 and the United Nations should recognize that" and "Her majestic landscape is more majestic than any other landscape, and the ideals and principles upon which she was founded are superior to all other ideals and principles." Also "amongst all nations in the world, America is clearly the best. Her people are better citizens than any other citizens." An number of people signed it. The ethnocentric-ism some people hold is really sickening. I don't think I ever really realized how... dumbly patriotic some people are? (Not even going into the lady who responded "Europe" to the question "What's the #2 country?")
However, they did say that a majority of people didn't sign and showed a bunch of clips of them showing why ("We're not number one in anything" and "I don't believe there's a superior country" for example). So there is still hope that the ones who signed were just a few (super-patriotic) idiots. I think that even a "few people" saying we're better is one too many, but I'm pleasantly surprised to hear that a majority of them weren't just talking out of their ass. Kind of proud, I guess. ♥
I'm not gonna lie, I'm proud to be from America and I doubt I could ever pretend like I was from Canada while abroad, even if it meant I'd have a slew of judging and misconceptions thrown at me. No matter where I go, even if I live most of my adult life elsewhere, I'm still going to feel like an American deep down. Nonetheless, I'm still glad I'll be out of here in a few years~
I went to the family reunion, and all I got was this crappy t-shirt.
My hair is up because it was so hot! Over 100 degrees with the heat index. I keep telling my dad "I need to get a haircut" but we're poor.
There's a certain amount of butthurt revolving this t-shirt. Grandma offered to buy me a t-shirt since they were selling them. They had small, medium, large, and extra large. I said I'd take large, because I happen to know that large looks good on me. Grandma told me to get XL because it will shrink, but they were pre-shrunk so I said I'd get large instead. Roger (my grandma's husband) kept INSISTING that I get XL. Am I really that fatty-chan that I look like I need an XL? Even the large has a little breathing room on me. It fits just right to me. It's not so tight that my fat is hanging all over, and it's not so big that it makes me look three times larger than I really am. I put on a shirt that actually fit me before and my brother said I looked like I lost thirty pounds. That's how bad it is.
It's their fault 90% of my wardrobe doesn't fit me (swimming in them). I do NOT like this, and whenever I buy shirts for myself, I get regular large. Most people (like my brother) respect that large fits me normally and that's the best size for me, but my grandma, for whatever reason, feels like my shirts need to be so big that they can fit two of me in them.
The shirt isn't that great anyway. The only reason I got it is because my grandma insisted, but at least it's one of the few pieces of clothing that actually FITS now.
I had a dream that there was a BTSSB shop in our mall, and I went in. There was a red JSK there and it was really cute, and I tried it on and it fit (would never happen in the real world) and I asked how much it was. The lady who worked there said $3,000 (!!!). I asked if I could put it on a payment plan, hahah.
I went out to eat with Steve and Jimmy todayyyy. Steve paid for it because he's a sweetie. He's so selfless; he's the type of person that spends all his check on other people. I really need to get a job to pay him back.
Anyway, we went to Steak and Shake. I had sweet tea and a bacon/chedder burger. I didn't have a shake because we were each supposed to only spend $10. My meal ended up being $8 or something?
Then we went to the mall and went to the arcade. I played DDR for at least 45 minutes, which is actually a lot for fatty-chans like myself. I think I worked off that burger. Then I played Deal or No Deal a few times and had like... 400 tickets? I spent 150 or something and Steve accidentally kept the tickets in his pocket, and when we were walking back to the car, I gave them to three little boys because I wasn't going to use them myself anyway. Steve said I was so generous, and I said I was like the ticket Mother Theresa or somethin'.
Anyway, I played DDR with a very nice girl. She was almost as good as me, but I beat her every song except the last one, because by that time, fatty-chan was very tired. I should have got her AIM or something, it would have been nice to make friends with her but meh. I posted a "missed connections" ad on craigslist for the lulz, and if I don't hear from her, that's fine.
AT&T has made the foolish decision to block /b/ and /r9k/ (4chan). I, for one, am not personally affected because about a half a year ago we switched to comcast, but I know many people are going to be affected. This article says 15.5% of all US internet users use AT&T DSL, which is a pretty sizable amount. (Ironically, my gramma called me today to tell me she got a laptop– and AT&T internet.)
Now, I don’t go to 4chan anymore myself, but this is fucking CENSORSHIP. This is like a slap in the face for everyone who has been trying to fight for net neutrality. It’s definitely a huge step backwards. /b/ may be full of porn and people’s heads blowing off, but the internet is free, or at least, it should be. /b/ has a strong anti-CP policy and mods who enforce that policy. 4chan’s TOS says anything not legal in the USA is not to be posted, and active mods delete anything that would fall underneath a breach of TOS, usually with a ban.
If the reason they’re blocking it is CP or whatever, that’s punishing all of the users for the actions of a select few, which I find to be extremely wrong. Punish the user themselves, don’t punish the masses because a few people don’t know how to follow rules. It’s like… cutting off the nose to spite the face, or something. Hard to believe, but there is ‘good’ and honestly entertaining content on /b/. I know that it’s relatively harmless because I used to be a hardcore /b/tard. Basically, all that existed there was a bunch of cocks and memes being spouted over and over. Sometimes there was intelligent discussion, but for the most part said ‘discussions’ were EUROFAGS vs AMERIFAGS or something similar. The rare CP thread was quickly 404’d.
If they get away with blocking one site, it’s only a slippery slide until they start blocking others. Don’t give them an inch unless you are prepared for them to take a mile. Once they see they can get away with blocking one particular site, they’ll start blocking more and more in the interest of ‘safety’. I have never been the type of person to give away personal freedom for the sake of ‘safety’.
I can see some /b/tards leaving AT&T because of this, and I wouldn’t blame them. AT&T was shitty enough when I had it, but this would definitely be the last straw for me if I were still using their service. Some people on Digg are switching just from the premise even though they don’t personally use 4chan.
There’s an article about it on ED, and I originally found out about it on digg. This will be comcast’s lucky day, I suppose.
TL;DR: The internet is free. If I want to go to the ‘cesspool of the internet’, I should be free to do so, and I recognize with that right comes responsibility. If I don’t want to see mauled bodies, I will close the X myself, I do not need you doing it for me. Quit trying to be Internet Nanny™, AT&T.
Today I left the lolita secret community simply because 75% of the posts are trolls.
I’m tired of hearing the same thing week after week: + Fatty-chans are omg so not loli guyz. + Clones are clones, what happened to originality!???!1 + Loli-chans are MEAAAAAN. No wonder we have such a reputation!!!!!!!!!
etc, etc, etc.
I like reading the actual secrets and not the trolls, but it’s not worth wading through to find one good secret, tbh.
ETA: Also, I think I got stabbed on the ass in my sleep last night by an unidentified object. There’s a hole on the ass-covering part of my underwear and a small bloodstain where the hole is. Wtf D:
I had a lot of people add me recently, so allow me to reintroduce myself. (I'm never good at writing these things... I'll try not to make it TL;DR)
As some of you may or may not know, my name is [REDACTED]. I have a million different internet handles (Kirk, hat, magneticdeath, asforoneday, Kohaku, etc) so feel free to call me whatever you want. I live in southwest Michigan, and was born and raised here. I just turned 19 on June 18th. I'm bisexual, but I would never date a male again so I guess that effectively makes me a lesbian. My family has always been in the lower class, money wise. My mother was on welfare the entire time my brother and I lived with her and both my parents dropped out of high school and are now general laborers.
Family-wise, my parents are divorced and have been so since I was 5. I lived with my mom, Grace, and her various boyfriends until I was 12. There was a big custody battle and I ended up with my dad, Jeff. I have been with my dad since 2002.
I quit school in 2007, at the beginning of my senior year. I've always had a 3.7 GPA, I was just going through some struggles at that time (and I'm a quitter, I admit it). However, I got my GED not long after.
I currently still live with my father and my brother, Steve. I don't have a job, but I've been looking. My dad is laid off but my brother has a job.
My girlfriend's name is Julie but I actually call her flag most of the time. My ultimate plan is to move to Belgium with her in a few years. Not sure how that's gonna happen yet, but yeah.
My life is basically Metallica at the moment. I listen to them all the time, watch videos, look at pictures, and generally obsess over them. Cliff Burton has inspired me to start learning the bass. I got a bass for my birthday and can already play a few songs on it.
I do listen to other artists though. Iron Maiden and Morning Musume/Hello!Project mostly.
I also play Guitar Hero/Rock Band almost religiously. I have been playing since April 2007. I have some videos up on youtube somewhere, but I'm a bit lazy to go looking, so if you're really interested in watching let me know.
I don't watch much TV/movies, but when I do, I prefer comedies. Lately I've been into the series "Penn & Teller's Bullshit", which debunks several scams. I think it's in its 7th season. It's an informative show that puts things in a funny manner (not to mention has lots of naked people just because it airs on Showtime).
Other interests include lolita clothing, webdesign, and graphic design.
I like debating too. I tend to lean on the liberal Democrat side of things politics-wise, though I try to examine each issue individually from both sides and come up with a solution (so I could be considered moderate). Also, I am an atheist.
Uh... That's all I can think of now. If anyone has any questions, feel free to leave a comment in this post or something. Haha.
I’m gonna try applying for this position tomorrow. As the proud owner of fingers that type over 100wpm (and a GED), I’m as highly qualified for this position as can be. But I didn’t know about applying through the mail, so we’re just going to try to go there in person and do so. After all, a resume is gonna look a little silly if I don’t have any job experience… but if they tell me to apply through mail instead, then I will.
there was a guitar hero tournament that i went to. the turn out was awful. there were only three people, so we all automatically went to finals in kalamazoo. the only reason we even played was for the $20 gift card for first place and the bragging rights. i was better than that little 9 year old that beat me; the only reason he won was because i double strummed at the end of more than a feeling. ;~; oh well
wanna know how i know i'm better? i stomped him in through the fire and flames afterwards, by both percentage AND score.
our apartment is on fire so if im not around for awhile thats why
nvm they put it out
eta: dad said some kid was smoking and his dad came home for lunch and caught him and the kid tried hiding the cigarette in the wall without putting it out first
Steve: Most women shave their pubes! Me: Most women? Uh, no. Steve: Uh yes. Most women that I know. Me: Yeah, okay? That doesn't mean most women in the world. Steve: Well, most women that I know that are sexually active do. Me: Um, I think it has a lot to do with age. Women who are older don't care as much because they realize guys aren't as shallow but younger women feel the need to. Steve: Yeah, because they already popped out five kids anyway! Me: God. You're fucking dumb.
And I looked it up afterwards...
"Fashion and grooming trends have extended below the waist. One fourth (25 percent) of all women aged 18 and older report that they "closely trim their pubic hair with scissors or clippers," and 23 percent say they shave part of their pubic hair off. Nine percent say they shave all of their pubic hair off.
Women in the 18 to 44 age group are more likely to remove hair in their pubic region than women over 45, perhaps because this age group is more likely to think that men prefer a well-manicured pubic region on a woman (38 percent of women aged 18-44 think most men prefer a manicured look, compared to 14 percent of women aged 45-54 and 3 percent of those aged 55 and older). The look can sometimes come with a price, however, as one in six women (17%) experience itching and/or irritation following pubic hair removal. (from here)"
So not only was I right in my assessment that most women didn't, but I was also right that older women didn't because they didn't mind as much. Ha ha fucking ha. It's annoying when Steve and his friend perpetuate the whole OMG MOST WOMEN ARE LIKE THE GIRLZ IN PORNOZZZZZ stereotype.
Back in 2002-2003, the internet was a younger place (and I was a younger person--12-13). Everyone had AOL, and I was no different. I had AOL 6.0 if I remember correctly, but eventually upgraded to 8.0. I couldn't really get into 9.0 or 10.0 like Amanda.
Amanda is my best friend whom I met in middle school. 7th grade. I was as much of a loner then as I am now, however, we had something in common. Or at least something that I could grasp straws too. She liked anime. The anime that comes on Adult Swim, of course, because we were both 13-year-olds and this is the age of dial-up, trying to download anime would take more time than working up the money to buy it. I remember very vividly how we started talking. I'd just moved to Watervliet, and one of the student council members named Kenny (very nice guy) introduced us. We wrote little notes back and forth to each other, and the first note Amanda wrote me went something like this:
"Hi! :D Do you want to come over to my house today?"
It was, initially, a huge risk for me. As you may or may not know, the reason I was moved to Watervliet was because I moved in with my dad in 2002. I previously lived with my mom and her husband, both of which were abusive drunks who literally moved our school every year. I had built up a defense mechanism not to get too close. However, I decided to go out on a limb and go to her house.
Now, before she met me, she didn't have the internet. All she had was television. I kept raving to her how great computers are, and how she absolutely needs to get the internet so we can talk over IM. About a month later, she managed to convince her gramma to get a computer. Her gramma kept putting parental locks on it which I showed her how to circumvent, because I'm a little bastard.
But then were the days of KaZaA and dial up. Downloading a song took an hour and I remember waiting months to download a 4gb concert (A MUSEUM- I have since bought it). I also remember accidentally deleting an entire anime series that she was downloading, which must have taken at least a month. Yes, those were more innocent times.
Because of Amanda liking anime (I never really got into it), we frequented anime chatrooms together on AOL. Even before I met Amanda, I'd been rping. I learned about it because I was into HP in 2002 (shoot me, etc). There was a lot of HP RP on AOL in those days (there was even a private chat called hprp). So, I introduced her to rp as we know it today. She was hooked.
We eventually got very close with a few friends of ours. Particularly Leo (whom we called Inuyasha, because that was who he rped), Mercy, and Gin. Mercy and Gin were supposedly long distance lovers and one thing I can vividly remember about them is that they were boning on Amanda's birthday one year because they scheduled a flight to see each other. I wonder how they are today... I've talked to Inuyasha a few times since then, but nothing serious.
For the most part after that, I just hopped around chats where no one cared about who you were ooc. It felt more comfortable that way. It wasn't until late 2004 that I felt the need to come up with another e-persona. It was for a completely different reason this time. thundercake.com. Oh, thundercake.com. You're gone now (replaced by a dA account), but I remember you well.
I have been webdesigning since 2002- since I've been on the internet. In fact, Amanda showed me a crappy geocities website of hers that made me laugh, and I helped her learn a little bit how to design. The problem has always been finding someone who will host your site-- someone who will let you take their space to put up your own little space of the web. Now, way back when, there was pick-me.net. Today, it's still up, but it's not run by the same people. I like this system better, however, back then, there was a tagboard system. Someone tagged saying they were hosting or they needed a host, and people followed through to their site. This is how I found thundercake.com.
When I first encountered the site, it was using iframes and had a little vector cloud. I thought it was very creative, cute, and stuck out in the sea of huge-people-vexels-that-took-5-years-to-load (remember, this was still dial-up days).
I decided that I would be hosted by this person if it killed me. However, their rules stated "I'd like it if we had something in common". I looked down her list of interests. Fuck! We barely had anything in common-- she was a political activist and I was a kid who just wanted an internet host. The host's name was Li, and she was a bisexual extreme liberal.
Thus Bruce was born. How did I come up with my name? I remember very vividly that I turned around and asked Steve, "What's the gayest name you can think of, for a guy?" and he responded "Bruce". Then I needed an AIM name. Closest thing sitting to me was a rainbow pencil, so my AIM name became "arainbowpencil". Ended up going by Rainbow as a nickname, which I carried over to H!O. I still use the username 'agrayrainbow' over there. I IMed her and we talked for a bit. Li welcomed me, and I got to use her webspace:
"Rainbow's my best [online] friend. When I think about Rainbow (or Bruce) I want to use the word "quirky" but that's way too flamboyant for Bruce (which is saying something ;)). He's a fellow anime fan, and we spend long hours talking trash about your website behind your back. He's been a hostee for a LOOOONG time...in fact, I think he was my first, unless that was Megan. He now has his own domain (real-emotion.org) but he's still hosted at Thundercake, giving us a sort of supernatural bond (sort of like, I could delete his site if I wanted to, but I won't). Rainbow's a great person who gets crap from everyone. One day I'll show up in Michigan and kick the asses of his foes. And that's the end of my Rainbow paragraph. When he sees this he's going to squee. And use this face --> XDD"
I should also probably mention I half-assedly crossed this persona to DC++ (a filesharing/chat client). There was this guy from Czech Republic named Diamond that was so gullible that he believed I was a cis dude even though I voice chatted with him. I tried to make my voice sound a bit deeper but it was probably epic fail. Amanda and I still have an inside joke about how his mic lagged and made him sound like a robot.
Next was when I started going by Jason... Oh, Jason.
There were a few people that I regularly talked to in that chat: a girl named Mel, who was actually pretending to be a guy (I had to drag it out of her), a girl named.. god, I can't remember, let's just call her 'bitch' because it's appropriate (also pretended to be a guy).
Ethan
Finally, there was a Canadian 19-year-old guy named Ethan. I don't know whether it was a chick with a better, more convincing act than most, but I fell for it. Hook, line, and sinker.
Ethan's rp was on a different level than everyone else's. His was way better. All his rp wasn't about sex-- in fact, he felt almost uncomfortable rping yaoi. The reason why he said he lurked those chats were because he liked watching the interactions. Eventually, I got him to play with me one-on-one and it was like love at first type... or something. I was only fourteen, but if it wasn't love, it was the biggest crush ever. I came online every day to talk to him, vent to him, rp with him.
But he didn't really treat me right. Often he'd cry "Jaaaaay" when I got online, and we'd talk for a bit. He was generally very rude with me, but for some reason, I was into that type of guy. We were both very immature. I remember that part very clearly. We'd say something even remotely sexual, and he would respond with "heh heh" in his teal-blue 8pt Verdana. We had some good times together, despite the fact that my character was a little weird.
Of course, being me, I rped with other people as well, and there was another guy named Luke who ~wanted~ me. I actually enjoyed playing with Luke more than I enjoyed playing with Ethan. That was because Ethan was orthodox, Ethan was normal, and my character, Kaoko, just didn't fit with very well with his, Kish. However, Luke would always play the weirdest scenarios with me and I ate it up.
Point being, I liked Ethan for OOC chat, and I liked Luke for IC.
However, the bubble eventually had to burst. Eventually, I made the mistake of telling a mutual friend (bitch, of course) about the fact that I was, in fact, the certified owner of a vagina. Naturally, she ran and told Ethan, and Ethan pried teeth getting that out of me personally. By this point, we were very close. He even said something along the lines of "thank god, I'm not gay". However, shit hit the fan when I told him I'd just turned 15. For some reason, that made him back off. If it was ~twu wub~ or whatever, it wouldn't matter, right? We'd have to wait to meet nonetheless.
Despite all that, we continued talking. He signed on less often though, and I started to get a bit worried. One week, he didn't sign on at all without any notice, which was a huge blow. When he came back, he said something about a drug overdose? Thing is, Amanda was good friends with Ethan as well. Amanda worked the truth out of him-- and proceeded to send me the log. It was ugly like, "Amber whines about her brother too much. What about MY problems?" and "I'm getting kind of sick of her" and "A friend of mine hung himself and I come online and she's bitching about her brother." Of course, I never knew any of that about him? He insisted to never talk about himself.
But... after I told him I read it, that was basically the end of whatever we had. He stopped signing on, I was heart-broken for awhile. I still had Luke to rp with, but he eventually stopped signing on as well. I think Ethan was the first time I had ever really loved, and it hurt for him to just leave like that. I even got an abandonment complex that a lot of people don't know about or don't understand. Even now, writing about it, is making me kind of sick.
I took a break in 2007, solely playing the XBox, where I met dale. In 2008, I met flag. The rest is history, I guess.
Ethan IMed me again in June 2008. I made the mistake of signing on my MSN one day, and he said that he was just bored (and drunk), IMing old friends. So basically, it was the drunk dialing of the IM world. At that time, I was having my little ill-informed fling with Paul. It was interesting that Ethan would IM me a few days after my birthday and cheer about me being 'legal now'. However, I was willing to throw Paul aside. After all, this was Ethan, the guy I hadn't talked to since 2005. I used a bit of discretion though because I knew it was too good to be true (especially if he was drunk). Naturally, he went AFK for awhile and some girl comes back saying "hey, this is _____, I'm gonna have to steal him away for a bit ;)" and I proceeded to block him. I didn't and still don't have time for that shit.
Luke was one that never found out about my vagina-possession, so when he contacted me in April 2009 and I told him I had a girlfriend now, he said "I thought you were gay?" And he said he had a girlfriend, so I asked him the exact same thing. Basically, he said he wanted to 'catch up' and we ended up catching up for five minutes and I haven't talked to him since.
I just went on a walk for like.. a half hour? to that circle place that has no houses built in it. I thought I'd have a place to walk on my own, and maybe jog a little and take some pictures if I was feeling ambitious.
I was wrong. I counted at least six people, one of which I tailed all the way back home because she lives in the apartment below me. One was a kid asking for a beer from their ever-loving bike companions, who so helpfully called me a fat ass. Thanks for that information, drunken kid. I'm sure I couldn't have figured that one out on my own.
tl;dr: I got a few pictures and realized it wasn't worth trying to get out and see nature/exercise. I'd rather be inside on the computer being the loner fuck I am. Yeaaah.
ETA: Wait a second, Steve is staying with 11-year-old mentality girl? What the shit.